I was contemplating the news and the various reports of the death of Billy Graham and thought I would share my thoughts with you. I attended a Billy Graham Rally in the Kelvin Hall in Glasgow when I was twelve years old and it has stayed with me all my life because it marked the beginnings of my disillusion with religion. Rather than inspire me, the experience disturbed me despite (or perhaps because of) my tender age. When I was young I was in the Boys Brigade and I still have the Bible I was given for perfect attendance at Bible School. I also attended the local gospel hall meetings that were held right across the street from where I lived, so I had a very conventional brainwashed Christian upbringing. When I say brainwashed, what I mean is that religions have this very handy and effective trick of convincing you that questioning or doubting is the ultimate sin for which you will be condemned to eternal hellfire, and so you are socialised to accept Christian teaching uncritically and to regard their clergy and people like Billy Graham as good people by definition. That is why so many religious people get away with some of the most heinous behaviour imaginable for so long.
What I saw at the Billy Graham rally made me suspect that I was being conned by a master con artist, although at twelve years old I could not articulate that way, I just had a feeling that it was wrong, and that the man who was supposed to be a great man leading me into a better way of life was a fraud. My doubts began right from when we arrived at the hall. When we arrived we were greeted by young smiling 'counsellors' who showed us to our seats, to my young mind they were too nice. In the foyer there were merchandising stalls, long before this ever caught on at pop or sporting events. During the rally, Graham was supported by a mass choir who hummed in the background as he was speaking and who raised or lowered the pitch of their backing as the emotions conveyed by his preaching varied. I found this very effective and began concentrating on this aspect of the rally rather than what Graham was actually saying because I found it rather inspiring but also understood that was the object of the exercise. This was accompanied by numerous 'praise the Lords' and 'hallelujahs'. On reflection later I realised that whilst I found it inspiring I also found it rather sinister. At the end of his service Graham had what he called an alter call, in which he invited whoever wished to, to proceed to the front of the stage where they could pledge their lives to the Lord. I was seated near the back of the hall where the 'counsellors' had stationed themselves during the service and when this alter call was issued, I was quite shocked to realise that one of the principal roles of the counsellors was to act as Judas goats and lead the parade to the front of the hall and encourage others in the audience to do the same. I was alerted to this because one of them openly signalled to those closest to me to begin this operation. It was a stage managed performance Hollywood would have been proud of, accompanied by the choir who came on cue with rousing and inspiring songs of praise. I was left with an overwhelming feeling of being manipulated and that the whole experience was empty and rather sinister. Even at the age of twelve I realised that what I was witnessing was a business, religion as a money making enterprise. I was glad to get out of the Kelvin Hall that night, and forever after distrusted Billy Graham and similar evangelicals. It is testament to the effect that this rally had on me that I still remember it quite vividly after all these years.
This is a personal reflection and is not meant to be anything other than that. Perhaps Graham had a positive and uplifting effect on others, and I understand that 'being saved' has literally saved people's lives in circumstances where their lives have been in mortal danger due to things like drugs, alcohol or criminality. If religion works for some people then good for them. My retreat from religion took many more years, largely due to the deep-seated superstition that continuous socialisation produces in the human being, but was mostly driven by my experience with Christians that only confirmed my childhood suspicions of holy men and I finally realised that Christianity is represented by some of the most unscrupulous gangsters and fraudsters on the planet. But it had its genesis (no pun intended) that night at a performance by a con-artist that left a twelve year old boy very suspicious that he had just witnessed a masterpiece in fraud. Christianity is not any worse in this respect from other religions, but it is Christianity that dominates in my culture and pollutes the political, social and economic environment that impacts on me most directly. My doubts were solidified over the years as I came to recognise Graham as a right-wing zealot devoid of a social conscience. He was the first experience I had of the concept that life can be hell on earth due to all those who are trying to make it heaven. You have been warned, don't listen to what people say, watch what they do.
Your Servant
Doktor Kommirat
No comments:
Post a Comment